We’ve all heard crazy horror stories of the stress of wedding planning, and chances are, you’ve also been a part of a wedding that felt incredibly stressful – to the point where the newlyweds didn’t really seem to enjoy their day! As a photographer who has been to (literally) hundreds of weddings, I’ve seen it all. I’ve also learned a lot about some of the key ingredients to a relaxing, joyful and enjoyable wedding day! Here are my top 9 tips for newly engaged or soon-to-be-engaged couples (and their friends!!!).

 

1.  It’s about you two. First and foremost, this wedding is a celebration of you two! Be empowered to assert yourselves – your desires, your needs, your priorities. Stick together as a unified team and have the most important discussions behind closed doors, away from family and friends. Sticking together and making decisions privately will allow you to express yourselves clearly to others involved in the planning process without letting others’ opinions come between you!

 

2.  Hire a wedding planner. Period. Throwing a big party for all your favorite people is a HUGE commitment, and the amount of expertise, resources and time needed to create a day that is uniquely you is WAY more than almost any couple can handle, especially if you’re planning a wedding of more than 100 people. A planner will take all your ideas and vision for your wedding day and turn it into reality without you having to do any of the heavy lifting. You will never, ever regret hiring a planner!

 

3.  Make it a full weekend event. You’ve heard people say it soooo many times (and you’re prob sick of hearing it!), but the wedding day goes by incredibly fast. It’s impossible to spend quality time with all the most important people in just one day. So, make it a multi-day event. Host a welcome party. Go on an excursion – like a wine tasting, spa day or even a yoga class. You’ll avoid FOMO and get even more time with the people you love!

 

4.  Get on the same calendar system. If you’re not both already on Google calendar . . . what are you even doing?! Share calendars with one another and invite each other to all the important appointments. This will save you time and frustration as you’re scheduling vendor meetings, tastings, etc. Don’t forget to put a few date nights on the cal as well!

 

5.  Prioritize a honeymoon. You may feel like going on a honeymoon right after your wedding isn’t the right time – and you might be right, at least about going on the real deal, full-length honeymoon. But after the big event, you two are going to want some relaxing down time to spend together. I mean, you just got married! Even if it’s just a little mini-moon getaway and you’re saving the big trip for later, do something together that is celebratory, special & most importantly, relaxing!

 

6.  Schedule days to treat yourself. Planning and wedding and getting married should be fun, exciting, and on your terms! Planning special dates and treat-yourself days (far in advance!) will allow you to enjoy one another and the process. Consider your entire engagement a celebration!

 

7.  Define the priorities and focus on them. Your wedding day is just like you – totally unique – and so your priorities will also be a unique blend of you two. Put your focus on these priorities and don’t spend your time, energy or worry on things that don’t really matter to you (and don’t let other people convince you otherwise, either!)

 

8.  Consider who you want to spend your time with. Regardless of whether you decide on the multi-day celebration or a one-day event, be intentional about who is most important to you. Who do you want to spend your time with, and how would you like to spend it? And don’t forget to consider each other – opting for a first look or having scheduled time earlier in the day to spend together isn’t taboo unless you want it to be!

 

9.  Live in the moment. While it might sound “easier said than done,” I already know you want to live in the moment of your wedding day. A lot of my previous tips are centered around making sure that happens for you (and our entire photography philosophy also centers around this!), but ultimately, it’s important to prepare – physically, emotionally, mentally . . . you get it! So set your mind on it in advance and prepare however you need to. Be ready to let go all of the little details as soon as your day starts and enjoy each moment!